Monday, November 26, 2007

Dog and Cat Diaries

We got back last night from our trip and I am way too tired and have way too much to get done to write an actual post today. So, I will leave you with this until tomorrow when I'll be back to tell you all about our Thanksgiving.

I got this as an email and I thought it was funny, so I had to share it.

Dog and Cat Diaries

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little hunter I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

Well, it made me laugh, so hopefully you enjoyed it too.

One thing I want to mention- I am always very good about returning comments. If you leave me a comment I will most definitely leave you one too. When you leave me a comment I get an email to alert me that I have a new comment. So, I save the comment in my email until I get a chance to leave you a comment on your blog. I have been saving my comments since last Tuesday so that I could respond back to everyone this week. Today when I opened my email everything was gone. So, I am going to do my best to look through my last few posts and try to figure out who I need to visit. But, I am apologizing in advance because I know I will surely miss someone.


ValleyGirl said...

That's too funny!! I wonder what our cats' diaries would look like -- we force them to live outside!! Heck, they even have to catch their own food if they don't get to the DOG DISH fast enough! Seriously. We're that cruel.

Pam said...

Funny email! Isn't that the truth about dogs and cats though!

Glad you got home safe and sound - can't wait to hear about your trip. Sorry about your email! Yikes! I would be lost if all my messages were gone! said...

Very funny!! Don't worry about comments and all that!! Just come over some time and scroll down and see the Thanksgiving pictures and the Christmas tree trimming! whenever you get a spare minute! We got our tree up on Saturday!
I took a eight hour bloggy break!! anyway that is what my friend Glo teased me about!!!! She said I missed you all 8 hours you were gone!!! I had to LOL at that! I didn't make it to Saturday!! I am really a blogaholic for sure!! Love and Hugs Grams So glad you are home..... I look forward to seeing your pictures.....

Tiff said...

that is too cute. I have one dog and two cats.

Debbie said...

Hi Melanie! You sound like much going on and not enough time to get everything finished!!
Take your time and get some rest in between! I hope you had a great thanksgiving!

Sharon said...

Glad you are back safely. Isn't it funny how you need a vacation from time away?

WorksForMom said...

Ohh yess, I have seen that before (and have a cat and a dog) and completely LOVE IT!

Welcome back from your trip. Hope it was relaxing and restful.

Regina said...

Happy return!!

You know I have cats, so that was totally hilarious to me! And Nala does lay near the stairs and wait until you raise your foot to go up or down then she darts up in between your feet. I have to show Toya tomorrow! It was a hoot!

Blessings, Regina

zamejias said...

So funny. But it reminds me of human nature... Really. I could even relate to being a dog or a cat in some instances.

Re comment: thanks for always visiting. I appreciate it a lot.
Hope you have a wonderful day.